Thursday, September 15, 2005

Thanks Sara for opening my eyes a bit wider....

I was just reading something that a fellow blogger (Sara) wrote that just makes me want rant! In agreement with her of course!

I feel physically sick when I see how the maintsream is raising their babies and then I just want to scream when things go wrong later on... These new generations have explanitions for everything and believe that they are invisible yet take responsability for nothing. The make their kids grow up too fast, force them "self-soothe" , make them supress their feelings, overschedule, over push, over medicate, nutritionally deprive them (through formula, processed foods, lack of vegetables etc) , give them everything material but not emotional, and make them have priorities that are not appropriate for their age and then wonder why they have emotional problems later on it life.

I am made to feel like a freak because I do thing that are not seen as 'normal' I breastfeed, co-sleep, wear my baby because I love to do it, I use cloth diapers and practice Elimination Communication, I don't vaccinate and I won't be sending my kids to school.. I get comments that imply that I am hurting my kids, I get comments that imply that I have no problems with my kids, I have comments that imply that I love being every second with my kids and imply that I am just lucky... I work so hard to be such a parent in the society that I live and I feel that I am not allowed to complain without being told to take the "easy" way out... and because I don't complain because I don't want to rejustify everything over and over again.
I am set apart from other moms because they always feel the need to justify why they chose to do something when they are with me.
I can't talk about the joys of breastfeeding because they will feel guilty and then expain why they couldn't for the 100th time even if their reason is crap and they know it, and if I complain about the times that I feel touched out their only solution is to wean and then get into a whole talk about how formula isn't that bad and they survived and their kids survived... I can't talk about Xavier's nursing habits without being told that he is way too old to nurse...
I can't talk about how Xavier crowds the bed some nights and my back hurts because I will just get the speech about it being important for him to be in his own bed... I can't talk about Colin nursing at night without someone telling me to just let him CIO and that it is the best solution and it just needs to be done...

I want to leave this city, I want to go live in a commune or somewhere where I will have a community life. I want to live in the mountains again, I want to get rid of "stuff" and live with the basics, I want to peel potatoes with a friend, and sit down and chat over tea, I want to garden and teach and not always be alone...
I want to live in a world where I can finally be myself without constant justification...


Blogger Andrea said...

You can come visit me. :)

(Heck, help with peeling potatoes??? :D)

9/16/2005 08:15:00 a.m.  
Blogger paxye said...

Andrea... I would love to visit you!
Doesn't a mundane task like peeling potatoes just seem less mundane when you are doing it with a good friend?

9/17/2005 06:37:00 p.m.  
Blogger Sara said...

Like many of your posts, I could have written this one, too. I so hear you on the quick-fix-it responses to the downsides of breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc. I just want to barf when someone suggests that I wean. Real reasons aside, I do not want to make parenting even more difficult by adding formula and bottles and poopy diapers to the mix.

9/18/2005 12:46:00 a.m.  
Blogger Sara said...

Not only do I want to go somewhere where nursing is OK, I want to live somewhere where I can go around without a shirt on, because yanking my shirt out of my baby wraps whenever one of my two nurslings needs to eat is way more of a pain than my baby's emerging teeth.

9/18/2005 12:51:00 a.m.  
Anonymous Sarah said...

Wow, preach it, sister! Happy to have found your blog.

9/19/2005 01:47:00 p.m.  
Blogger Todd said...

I totally agree with everything you said. We've been lucky, however, in that we are surrounded by understanding people and so our extended nursing, cosleeping, and homeschooling aren't criticized. We still get the "why isn't your kid in school?" questions but for the most part, here in Toronto we either get neutral responses from people new to the idea (and often the country) that it is acceptable to homeschool or positive responses and understanding.

Having lived off in the woods for a couple years and visited a commune nearby a few times I think neither of those would be right for us now. We don't do well with isolation and when we were living in the woods we were hugely isolated. While we are all introverts to some degree, we really thrive on seeing other people at least once in a while.

The other thing I noticed about the community we used to visit was that it wasn't particularly diverse. Everyone there was white, most were in the 25-35 year old range, and all were of the same sociopolitical mindset. While it is nice to not deal with conservatives on a daily basis, I have found it quite pleasant to be here in Toronto where we see people of all types.

The other thing about people such as yourself heading for the hills so to speak is that being off in the woods makes it difficult for you to be a positive example for others. Before we had a baby, I didn't even know about the positive effects of nursing, didn't know that slings existed and had no idea that babies could sleep with their parents. I wasn't against the idea but had I not been introduced to it, I might never have found out. We also get to meet lots of people who see Paul (now 7) and remark how mature and well adjusted he is and we try to tell about his being homeschooled.

So I can totally get your desire to get away from the idiots (after all - we left the US for that same reason), you might want to consider sticking around for the rest of the more normal folk who are unaware of the possibilities available to them.

9/24/2005 06:10:00 p.m.  

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