Monday, October 03, 2005

A major turn around....

Wow...
About 2 weeks ago we went on a nature walk with the boys... (I mentioned it here) When we left Xavier had a mega-tantrum... he didn't want to come home, he cried the whole way home, made a big scene and when we got home it was even worse... He was just completely out of whack... I sat down to nurse Colin and he got really upset and was trying to pry Colin off the breast and I just lost it and brought him to his room and closed the door... telling him that he couldn't come out until he was calm.... A lot of things, not only that day had led me up this point... Everyday it was becoming a struggle with him.. I would bring him to the park and I had to drag him home kicking and screaming, I said no, or in a minute, or after and he would demand "NO!! NOW!!!! WHAAAAA!!!.... this had been going on for quite while and we just didn't know how to deal with it... and That day I just had it.... I couldn't deal with it anymore.... So I put him in his room, on his bed. He got up, I didn't say a word and brought him back, he did it again, So did I.... Finally, he stayed on his bed and I went to sit down in the livingroom, and nurse Colin who was also crying because he was tired and hungry and wanted to nurse. I sat down, nursed Colin breathed and about 7-8 minutes later I got up, gave Colin a toy to keep him occupied and went to talk to Xavier... I sat down on the floor face to face with him....I talked to him like he was an adult, I needed to get some things out... I needed to tell him how I felt... It really felt weird talking to Xavier like that...
I told him how I didn't like how he always demanded things, I told him that I was tired of the tantrums, I told him that I needed him to appreciate the things we give him and the things we do with him and be happy with that... I told him that I loved him and that I loved doing things with him but I couldn't deal with the whining and the tantrums anymore.... He said Sorry.... I said Sorry.... We hugged each other for a minute and got up to continue with our day...
Since that day, since that conversation I have a little boy that is a pleasure to be with... there is no longer a fight to sit at the dinner table (we don't care if he eats or not but we want him to sit with us) However, not only is there no longer a fight, he actually eats more. When we go somewhere like the park or a walk there are no more fights when it is time to come home, when we go anywhere (swimming, shopping etc) he listens to us and it has been a pleasure going with him because of it... He actually Thanks me now for bringing him somewhere and seems to appreciate it now... and it makes me want to bring him everywhere now!
The remarkable thing though is that his vocabulary has evolved in the last few weeks... he has never been a big talker, he did talk but not really complete sentences... it was different... Now he talks in ways that I just couldn't imagine...
Since that day we both have had a major turn around.... I am doing more and more things with the kids because it is no longer a struggle and all of us are having much more fun.....

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