Sunday, October 30, 2005

Response to comment on the EC post...

Kelly wrote this in the comments on the EC post...
"I think there is a huge distinction between Natural Family stuff and AP. There are folks out there who do both, but there are also lots of super AP folks who just don't care for the NF stuff."

I really need to respond... To me EC IS AP...

In itself I don't see diapering as a whole being part of AP though I do see Cloth diapers as being NP (Natural Parenting)

However... I see EC as being an extension of AP more then an NP practice.. (though it can be NP if you look at it simply as a diapering issue i.e... using less/no diapers at all)

To me EC is about my child communicating a basic need (to eliminate) and me being in tune enough to pick up on those cues and bring him to the potty... It is a relationship, such as breastfeeding is a response to hunger and comfort cues, EC is a response to elimination cues...

Though changing less to no diapers is a big plus of EC for me it is not the goal... it is the communication that occurs...

I think this is the point that doesn't get across to many people... it seems that they just see EC as being about early potty training... It is so much more!!!

Though I understand that it is not for everyone, and I don't think it needs to be necessary part of AP, I truly believe that EC is an AP practice and not NP...

3 Comments:

Blogger K said...

I'll give you this. They way you describe EC sure sounds more like AP than Not AP.

But, I must ask, what is the point? To me, AP is a way of parenting that says babies are not manipulative little creatures -- they have needs -- meet them. Pick up your baby, wear your baby, respond quickly to baby's needs. And above all else -- don't let the grandmas get you down -- you cannot spoil an infant.

And I think all of that can be accomplished without EC. But if adding EC to your AP arsenal helps -- go for it!

But as an advocate for AP, I think it is vital to stress that AP can be for everybody -- working parents, single parents, cloth diapering parents, EC parents as well as the huggies/pampers crowd.

The more we make any one APish parenting practice some sort of litmus test, the more would be APers will turn to mainstream practices because they will view AP as some sort of unattainable lifestyle.

Kelly

11/01/2005 07:04:00 AM  
Blogger paxye said...

K: To me, AP is a way of parenting that says babies are not manipulative little creatures -- they have needs -- meet them. Pick up your baby, wear your baby, respond quickly to baby's needs. And above all else -- don't let the grandmas get you down -- you cannot spoil an infant.

Here are two links...
One a description of AP that I really like (you may not agree with it all)
http://www.parentingweb.com/ap/ap_info.htm

A FAQ sheet that I also really like:
http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/attachmentparenting/faq.htm

In the first link:

"Learning, understanding and following your childs cues.

In the second link:
Attachment parenting is a style of parenting which is all about responding to your child's cues and following your parental instincts. This incorporates really getting to know him, and not being afraid of "spoiling" or setting up "bad habits". It is more an attitude than a list of instructions. The usual trademarks of AP, such as breastfeeding, co-sleeping and sling wearing, are in most cases a natural response to the way an AP parent thinks and feels about his/her child.

Attachment parenting is about allowing the child to be "attached" to his parents, to be as dependent as he needs to be. APers let their children separate from them rather than the other way around.


K: But, I must ask, what is the point?

As an AP mom I strive to learn and understand my childrens cues and repond accordingly. This includes Feeding on demand, cuddling when needed, wearing etc... however with such close attachment I started to learn and understand the elimination cues that my child was giving. I could have chose to ignore them and let him eliminate in a diaper (which in turn 'teaches' him that his daiper is his toilet), however, it made more sense for me to potty him. KWIM... so that was the "point" for me...
And it is for this reason I see EC as being part of AP...

11/01/2005 11:02:00 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

I think that sometimes the distinction between AP practices (tools used like a method) and attachment parenting (inseparable from the rest of life) is difficult for some people to understand.

I don't think of AP as babywearing, breastfeeding, etc. I think of it as living with my babies. I know that's vague, but although I practice all the AP tools plus EC, the real AP is my relationship with my girls.

11/03/2005 01:50:00 PM  

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