Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Then and now...

I was thinking about how in the past women were the heart of the family. They cooked, cleaned. took care of the house and took care of the kids without any help. They seemed to have done it all without missing a step. How did they do it?I wonder if they complained about how their husbands didn't do anything at all. I mean not only did they do it all but they did without the help of all the new mashines that we have. No dishwasher, no washing machine just elbow grease and alot of hard work. They also didn't have all of the distractions of phones, internet, TV, radio and just everything that seems to pull you away from whatever you are doing.
I love being a SAHM but I can't seem to get everything done... and most days I can't seem to get anything done. So as I was cleaning the kitchen today I realized that I have to learn how to do it. My mother was a single mom and though she cleaned I had to get out of the way and it was not a daily thing but a once a week thing. I never learned how to clean as part of a daily routine. I never saw others being SAHM's. In the past women where taught by example and saw mothers mothering, learned to cook, sew, garden and take care of a household. With women going to work now we have lost this and the SAHM's of the future need to learn it all by themselves.
Look at breastfeeding... not long ago in history women breastfed without a problem not only because they haad no choice but because they had always been exposed to it and saw how it was done through this exposure. Not only would a new breastfeeding mom have seen what breastfeeding was but she also had all the suport from all the women around her who had done the same...
So as I cleaned my kitchen, I understood that in our time we don't only have to do it all but we have to learn how to do it also. I am so thankful for my husband in this respect, he does so much around here but I feel so guilty that I don't do more. However, I am trying to do my best and hopefully I will be there to set the example for future generations.


Saturday, May 21, 2005

This is my Rant!

Ahhhh.....the joys of Parenthood... before I had kids I had a completely different idea of what being a mom was and what children were really like... Having a child changes Everything!
To be Honest, I knew this but I didn't know to what extent it was going to be... the thing about it all is that the more I understood this, the more I accepted it, the easier and more fulfilling life as a mom became.

I quickly understood while watching my first son sleep in my arms that my life was never to be the same again, the life before 'motherhood'was gone.
But that was what being a mother was... Wasn't it?
Should I try to be the person I was before but with kids?
Can't they just come with me everywhere?
Life will never be the same, but is it bad?

No, of course not... I am going to the next level, I am now a Mom.

Going back I have always been the black sheep in my surrounding. My ideas seem always where always stray and radical to many that surrounded me. Parenting has not been different.

When I was Pregnant I knew that I was going to breastfeed. I didn't know anybody that did really but I never understood why. Why give a chemical soup instead of Breastfeeding. It is proven to be best, it is the natural way to feed our young, it is free and it is so much less hassle.

Everyone around me had an excuse why they couldn't breastfeed...
"My breasts are too big"
"My breasts are too small"
"My milk never came in"
"My milk wasn't rich enough"
"My baby was too big"
"My baby was too small"
"I had to take Meds"
"It hurt too much"
Etc, Etc, Etc, Etc......

Could it all be true... I had to read up on it more....
Then I started seeing it.. "99% of all women can breastfeed exclusively", "It is very rare that a women can't breastfeed" etc...
I understood 99% the excuses that I heard came down to two things
1)they don't want to breastfeed and just make up excuses (because it is easier then trying to defend themselves and their thoughts)
2)they do want to breastfeed but lack the confidence in their body to do it and get caught up in the bad advice of Doctors, Family and/or friends.

I wouldn't be one of those... I will breastfeed, I will give my child the best start in life.

When my son was born I knew that I could do it and I knew that my body was made to nourish this child that I had given birth too. I knew I was going to succeed because I wouldn't have it any other way.

Other things came over me when he was born also. My insticts took over completely. I knew that he needed to be in my arms often, he was inside me just hours before, the world could be a scary and cold place and he needed me and I needed him. We brought him into our bed, I fed him when he was hungry, It didn't feel right if he cried... these ideas where always seeming to clash with others around..

They thought he would be spoiled, that he was manipulating me...
"Let him cry, it's good for his lungs",
"Babies just need to cry sometimes",
"He has to learn to be by himself sometime"
"He'll never be able to go to sleep/be on his own"
"He has to learn to Self-Soothe"

None of this made sense to me... Wasn't he just a baby?
Isn't Crying the only way that he can communicate what he needs?
Isn't he the one that knows what he needs and when?
I dived into books and internet sites and slowly I started seeing the words Attachment Parenting more and more while searching for things and searching for support…
Surely I wasn’t the only one that thought this way? Maybe ‘they’ are who I am looking for? Maybe ‘They’ are who I am!

From then on I identified myself as an AP Mom and from then on I have had trouble being comfortable in the mainstream world and way of thinking…

This is my Rant...

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