Baby Training... CIO vent
Why do people find the need to train their babies? Why do people expect their children to be so grown up so quickly. It is getting to be ridiculous! I mean... what do people really expect their children to be when they are born...
The images we see are so far from reality... TV always has that perfect image of a parent taking a completly awake baby and placing it in a crib, turning the light off and that's it... When we become parents, especially when we are not around kids too often, we almost expect that this will be so... but when it doesn't happen then we search on ways to make things best and of course get some sleep...
When Xavier was born I didn't know what AP was, but the minute I held him in my arms things just fell into place... He slept so well cuddled between Dh and I, falling asleep at the breast each time. People around me said it was bad but I just felt I was doing the right things that ensured that everyone get good sleep. Some say that I was lucky because Xavier was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks and that I never knew what bad nights were and so I couldn't talk about my experiences because I had never been in their position...
However, these people that were having rough nights and whose babies where not sleeping enough (or the parents where not sleeping enough) are the same parents that refused to bring their baby into their bed and insisted that they learn how to "self-soothe"... Why does a 3, 6 or 9 month old baby need to learn to "self-soothe"? If they need to have a little help to fall asleep what's wrong with that? Why don't use gentler ways to guide a baby into sleep...
When Colin was born I realized how much 2 siblings can be polar opposites. Colin was a very fussy High Needs baby that didn't want to sleep through the night and often woke up 3-4 X a night... however, he slept happily between DH and I and nursed to sleep almost every time (he is a baby that often wants to be put down to fall asleep alone though, or unlatches and rolls over before falling asleep) Even on nights that he didn't want to fall asleep right away when he woke in the middle of the night I just slept beside him while he was awake and we again never lost sleep... Are we just lucky again.. I don't thing so.. I think we just have a method that works...
I understand that some people think that making their baby CIO (cry it out) is the only way that they will learn how to sleep, I also understand that they find it hard but they feel they have to do it... and they stand beside the fact that it does work... But the reason that it works is because the baby knows that as much as they need their parent, as much as they want to be held, as much as they are thirsty, hungry, uncomfortable or lonely, their parents won't come when they cry.... and they are made to retreat into themselves and give up... Which is why when a baby is sick and their cries are responded to for a few nights the process has to start all over again...
The worst thing I have heard of now in this is that you can now Hire a Nanny to come over for a few nights and make your baby CIO for you... That means that Parents can snuggle with the one they love, in a warm bed together (maybe even the family cat or dog snoozing at their feet) while the little baby, the most helpless in the household is in a dark room crying with a stranger checking in on them once in a while (if they are checking in at all)... I makes me feel ill and makes me want to cry...
I don't remeber where I hard this but it is now my Motto...
In my house, Nobody cries alone.....
The images we see are so far from reality... TV always has that perfect image of a parent taking a completly awake baby and placing it in a crib, turning the light off and that's it... When we become parents, especially when we are not around kids too often, we almost expect that this will be so... but when it doesn't happen then we search on ways to make things best and of course get some sleep...
When Xavier was born I didn't know what AP was, but the minute I held him in my arms things just fell into place... He slept so well cuddled between Dh and I, falling asleep at the breast each time. People around me said it was bad but I just felt I was doing the right things that ensured that everyone get good sleep. Some say that I was lucky because Xavier was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks and that I never knew what bad nights were and so I couldn't talk about my experiences because I had never been in their position...
However, these people that were having rough nights and whose babies where not sleeping enough (or the parents where not sleeping enough) are the same parents that refused to bring their baby into their bed and insisted that they learn how to "self-soothe"... Why does a 3, 6 or 9 month old baby need to learn to "self-soothe"? If they need to have a little help to fall asleep what's wrong with that? Why don't use gentler ways to guide a baby into sleep...
When Colin was born I realized how much 2 siblings can be polar opposites. Colin was a very fussy High Needs baby that didn't want to sleep through the night and often woke up 3-4 X a night... however, he slept happily between DH and I and nursed to sleep almost every time (he is a baby that often wants to be put down to fall asleep alone though, or unlatches and rolls over before falling asleep) Even on nights that he didn't want to fall asleep right away when he woke in the middle of the night I just slept beside him while he was awake and we again never lost sleep... Are we just lucky again.. I don't thing so.. I think we just have a method that works...
I understand that some people think that making their baby CIO (cry it out) is the only way that they will learn how to sleep, I also understand that they find it hard but they feel they have to do it... and they stand beside the fact that it does work... But the reason that it works is because the baby knows that as much as they need their parent, as much as they want to be held, as much as they are thirsty, hungry, uncomfortable or lonely, their parents won't come when they cry.... and they are made to retreat into themselves and give up... Which is why when a baby is sick and their cries are responded to for a few nights the process has to start all over again...
The worst thing I have heard of now in this is that you can now Hire a Nanny to come over for a few nights and make your baby CIO for you... That means that Parents can snuggle with the one they love, in a warm bed together (maybe even the family cat or dog snoozing at their feet) while the little baby, the most helpless in the household is in a dark room crying with a stranger checking in on them once in a while (if they are checking in at all)... I makes me feel ill and makes me want to cry...
I don't remeber where I hard this but it is now my Motto...
In my house, Nobody cries alone.....
posted by paxye at 6/26/2005 10:12:00 p.m.
3 Comments:
oh girl, i know of which you speak, it takes all i have not to post on those... night nanny, worst thing I HAVE EVER HEARD OF. ugh
Oh man, I have never heard of the hired nanny / night nanny. *shudder*
Worst. Thing. Ever.
oh in today's world, almost everything is possible. kinda sad huh? I had fun reading your blog. Have a great long weekend ;)
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