I added a pix page....

I decided that I want to share some of my favorite pics with my new Camera so I created Paxye's Pix... I am open to critism! but be nice LOL

Baby Training... CIO vent

Why do people find the need to train their babies? Why do people expect their children to be so grown up so quickly. It is getting to be ridiculous! I mean... what do people really expect their children to be when they are born...
The images we see are so far from reality... TV always has that perfect image of a parent taking a completly awake baby and placing it in a crib, turning the light off and that's it... When we become parents, especially when we are not around kids too often, we almost expect that this will be so... but when it doesn't happen then we search on ways to make things best and of course get some sleep...
When Xavier was born I didn't know what AP was, but the minute I held him in my arms things just fell into place... He slept so well cuddled between Dh and I, falling asleep at the breast each time. People around me said it was bad but I just felt I was doing the right things that ensured that everyone get good sleep. Some say that I was lucky because Xavier was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks and that I never knew what bad nights were and so I couldn't talk about my experiences because I had never been in their position...
However, these people that were having rough nights and whose babies where not sleeping enough (or the parents where not sleeping enough) are the same parents that refused to bring their baby into their bed and insisted that they learn how to "self-soothe"... Why does a 3, 6 or 9 month old baby need to learn to "self-soothe"? If they need to have a little help to fall asleep what's wrong with that? Why don't use gentler ways to guide a baby into sleep...
When Colin was born I realized how much 2 siblings can be polar opposites. Colin was a very fussy High Needs baby that didn't want to sleep through the night and often woke up 3-4 X a night... however, he slept happily between DH and I and nursed to sleep almost every time (he is a baby that often wants to be put down to fall asleep alone though, or unlatches and rolls over before falling asleep) Even on nights that he didn't want to fall asleep right away when he woke in the middle of the night I just slept beside him while he was awake and we again never lost sleep... Are we just lucky again.. I don't thing so.. I think we just have a method that works...
I understand that some people think that making their baby CIO (cry it out) is the only way that they will learn how to sleep, I also understand that they find it hard but they feel they have to do it... and they stand beside the fact that it does work... But the reason that it works is because the baby knows that as much as they need their parent, as much as they want to be held, as much as they are thirsty, hungry, uncomfortable or lonely, their parents won't come when they cry.... and they are made to retreat into themselves and give up... Which is why when a baby is sick and their cries are responded to for a few nights the process has to start all over again...
The worst thing I have heard of now in this is that you can now Hire a Nanny to come over for a few nights and make your baby CIO for you... That means that Parents can snuggle with the one they love, in a warm bed together (maybe even the family cat or dog snoozing at their feet) while the little baby, the most helpless in the household is in a dark room crying with a stranger checking in on them once in a while (if they are checking in at all)... I makes me feel ill and makes me want to cry...
I don't remeber where I hard this but it is now my Motto...
In my house, Nobody cries alone.....

Perfect Ribs and a little bit of History...

I have this great Rib recipe that I got a few years ago... and finally got it perfect last night!! I have been trying for years and the taste was pretty much there but they were always dry... I tried so many things and they never worked but last night I got it and understood what was going wrong... As weird as it may sound I have a weird connection to these Ribs…
I was born in Montreal, and at the age of 2 my Mom needed to get away from my Dad and one night in the middle of the night she packed up the car and we left… We arrived in a little town in BC and she fell in love with it and we stayed… so I was raised in Nelson BC. At about the age of 11 my mom wanted to find a job and have me know my family so we headed back to Montreal...
A few weeks after I arrived in Montreal I met my Dad for the first time since the age of 2… our first meeting was a bit weird, he just showed up out of nowhere behind me in a line while I was waiting to get a hotdog from the restaurant at the pool… Anyways… around the 2nd or 3rd time I saw him he brought me to a great Restaurant in downtown Montreal called the Bar-B-Barn. I don’t remember having eaten ribs before going there but I fell in love with them…The Bar-B-Barn became the place that I always asked to go for my birthday and I always remember the first time that I had went with my Dad. My Dad and I have had lots of ins and outs (more outs then ins!) and now we have finally found the niche in which our relationship can work.
As for the ribs… I haven’t been to the Bar-B-Barn in years… My Birthday suppers one day transformed to a different kind of cuisine (Steak and Lobster LOL Hey! I am not paying) but I still love ribs..
Anyhow, I found the Recipe for Bar-B-Barn Ribs on the net a few years back… it had been published in the Local Newspaper in 1990… Here is the Recipe… The Sauce Recipe is the same as the one I found but the method is tweaked because it never turned out right and some things are added…


2 lb Ribs or more (the sauce can be stretched for a lot of ribs)

Sauce
2 c Brown Sugar
1 c Apple Sauce
1/2 c Lemon Juice
1/2 ts Salt
1/2 ts Paprika
1/2 ts Cinnamon
1/2 ts Pepper
1/2 ts Garlic Powder

Dry Rub
2 tbsp Kosher Salt
2 tbsp Paprika
2 tbsp Brown Sugar
1 tbsp Chili Powder

Cover Ribs with Dry Rub Let sit for about 1 hour in the Fridge,
Heat BBQ on Low Temp,
Wrap Ribs in Tin foil and place in BBQ for about 1 ½ hours
Place all the ingredients for Sauce in a Sauce pan and bring to a boil. Boil for 2 minutes, continuously stirring and then set aside.
Remove ribs from tin foil, turn off one of the burners in the BBQ, put the lit burner to a medium heat and place ribs on the side that is unlit… Baste with Sauce frequently for about 40 min… Light the second burner again and finish the ribs on a Medium heat for another 10 min (to get the nice caramel colour on the ribs)
Spinkle the Ribs with a bit of Fresh Lemon...
Serve Rice cooked in Tomato sauce with a bit of added Salsa, salt and Worcestershire.

So, I finally got them perfect last night and I was actually brought back to that first time I had eaten them and thoughts of my Dad....

Watermelon and Blue Lips....

Isabelle came over with the 3 girls Today... 5 kids under the age of 5 can make you very dizzy!
We stayed in the house for a few minutes when they got here and then made our way to the park... the kids really had a lot of fun and We all got back to the house Starving... We made Wraps with BBQed Chicken, Zucchini, Yellow, red and orange peppers and coucous, a great spinach Salad and homemade Raisin-Bran Muffins and tons of Watermelon that turned out to be suprisingly sweet! Gabrielle (4 1/2) had about 6-7 slices of Watermelon and could have went for more!
After Lunch the kids wanted to go in the pool! Kids are Crazy!!! Today was a windy and cloudy 21 degrees (70) and the water was the the same temp at 21 (70) OMG it was freezing!!! their Lips turned blue but were full of smiles so the cold water was well worth it!!
Anyways... it is Raining now, everyone is gone and Xavier doesn't want to nap.. I think he is getting at the age that nap time is starting to become an opitional thing... I just hope that sleep will come easily tonight...

As for the buisness stuff... I have a phone meeting with Suzanne from DT tommorrow morning and I got an E-mail this morning from the lady at Maman Kangourou asking about the region that I would like to work in to make sure they don't have any other representatives and thankfully they don't so I would be the first!! I really think that it is going to work out... I would be so happy if it did... I would love for babywearing to become more known around here..
Well.. Tomorrow is my meeting and then I am off to my cousins 3rd Birthday (I really am NOT in the mood) and it is St-Jean tommorow (Provincial holiday) and I am not looking forward to having drunks on the road while I make my way back tomorrow night with my family in tow...

Update on Pre-natal and babywearing....

The Pre-natal went pretty well last night… there where 5 couples that where all ears but one couple in particular…
When asked at the beginning if they where wanting to breastfeed this couple said that yes they would but would like to express to have daddy have a chance to have that bond too… So I made a point of explaining all of the things that Daddy can so even if he doesn’t nurse… (skin to skin, walking, burping, cuddling, bathing) and it seemed to make sense to him… The whole time I was talking this guy had a big smile and was nodding… During the break they told me that they have read a lot of breastfeeding and that all the things they have read where confirmed and they learned many more things… I told them that if they want to succeed they have to go into it saying that they are going to do it… and told them how when I was pregnant I decided that nothing was going to stop me from breastfeeding and I wouldn’t let myself be set up for any disaster so all bottles and samples where thrown out of the house… When I said that A light lit up in this guys face, and right away he said that that was such a great idea… that having samples around just makes it so much easier for then to be used and for something to hinder the breastfeeding relationship… and that if you have to go out and get Formula you might think about it a bit more… (I really think that the samples they have are going to be leaving the house LOL)
Another thing they asked me about was Vit D… I told them that I have never given Vit D and that it depends on the school of thought… Though the Canadian Paediatric Society recomeds it… the actual fact is that it is a blanket recommendation that really doesn’t have too much weight especially in a fair skinned child born in the summer..

Another cool thing that happened was that the nurse asked me if I had brought my wrap and Sling because she really wanted to show it off and show off the way I wear my baby.... I told her that I have been thinking about giving some classes a the “Carrefour” and she thought it was a great idea and is going to talk to her boss about me being the “official” resource is the region… She even told me that she has gotten a few questions about babywering from people that have seen me in Public and she knew they where talking about me because they described my Ellaroo!
I am still waiting for the answer from “Maman Kangourou” but I am pretty sure to become a retailer and that way I can teach and sell…

Pre-Natal and babywearing classes

I completely Forgot that I am giving a Pre-natal tonight... I Just went over my notes again about the advantages of Breastfeeding for Mom and Baby and the Myths that commonly surround breastfeeding... I could say all of them by heart but I get nervous infronf of a group of people...
Colin is coming with me of course.. I can't leave him yet with Simon, it's not that I don't trust him of course, I just can't stand the thought of leaving him...

When I went by the Org. that I work with today to get some photocopies done I talked with the directror about giving Babywearing Classes in the Fall and she thinks that it is a great idea... So I might be doing that in the Fall and selling slings and wraps to the moms that attend...

Anyways... wish me luck for tonight...

Weight...

Everyday I get up and say that I need to lose weight but then I get so hungry and I just need to eat... I don't know if it because of the Tandem nursing or it just in my head but I have never been hungry like this before...
A few years ago, about 6 months before I got pregnant with Xavier I was at my highest weight and one day things just clicked inside and on a Sunday night I bought a series of 12 coupons for Weight Watchers and made my way to the meeting the day after... I was ready and I was willing to lose weight... 6 months later I had lost 50 pounds and fell pregnant with Xavier...
Now. After 2 kids, I am about in the middle mark between my highest and my lowest weight.. I really want to lose more again but I can't even imagine how I would do it this time around... I would love to lose more before I get pregnant again.. I think my body would appreciate it...
I need to get my motivation back.. I need to find people that will help motivate me... I miss the group of women that I used to see every Monday night... I have since moved about an hour away and the group that is here just doesn't interest me... I can talk more openly in English, I feel better in an English setting and that is not available here...
Why won't it just click the way it did a few years back... Why can't I get that same feeling that I just have had enough and things have to change and they have to change now...
If I want to succeed I need that feeling again...

LLL Conference

I went to the LLL Conference in Montreal Yestersday and it was fun... I took 3 "classes" that I thought would be interesting and fun... Baby-wearing, Tandem Nursing and Homeschooling... I got to the Baby wearing class and the girl was just another Mom that loves babywearing (which is great) but the problem was that I knew more about babywearing than her... So a few of the things that people has questions about I answered... I didn't learn anything about babywearing except that I should start giving classes too which I think I will bring up as an idea at the CLSC Tuesday when I give the Prenatal...

The Tandem nursing class was pretty much a summary of the Book "Adventures In Tandem Nursing" which seemed to be a big discovery to her because it hasn't been published in French... However, I have read it cover to cover a few times so again I didn't really get to learn anything new... but it was fun to meet other Tandem nursing Moms...

The third class... Homeschooling was the best... It was inspirational and It confirmed by decision to Homeschool... I couldn't have asked for more...
The thing that stuck with me the most was that on average a Homeschooling student does about 1 and 1/2 hours of school work a day (about the average homework time of any other student)and not only that but that with 1 and 1/2 hours of work a day an average student can finish the school year in about 4 months!
There was a women in the group that was there to know more because she often got questions about homeschooling but was completly against the idea and at the end she said that she understood things in a very different light now..
Anyways... it was great and very informative...
So the day wasn't a loss... and I got to show off my beautiful Ellaroo and I got proffesional pics taken free with Colin.... (can't wait to see them!)

Discovery Toys

I've decided to try to Sell Discovery toys... We really need a bit of extra income!
Here is my consultants page...

http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/melissabelle

Ramblings.... About Sleep....

Last night I has trouble going to sleep... Maybe it was the Coffee that I took mid afternoon that I am just no longer used to having (DH and I stopped drinking Coffee regularly because we don't want the addiction) Anyways... I stayed up and checked Homeschooling sites... I am still debating with my self about how I want to homeschool but keep on reminding myself that it is ds that will take the lead and show me how he wants to be taught...
Anyways... I finally went to bed and was starting to fall asleep when Colin woke up... Dh got up (without even waking up I think) went to get him and brought him into bed... I nursed him and fell asleep right away... Something about being cuddled to a little ball of warmth just makes me relax completely... I don't know what we would do if we didn't co-sleep... I can't imagine if at that moment I would have had to physically get up and get Colin back to sleep.. How do parents do that? Why do they do it?
Someone on a newsgroup I read mentioned something that really made sense to me... It is not our children that have sleep problems... it is the parents... the kids are getting enough sleep even if they wake up during the night, it the parents that are the ones losing out on sleep because they go to sleep later, and they get up at night and wake themselves up completely in order to get their kids back to sleep....
A friend of ours has two micro-preemies... born at 27 and 28 weeks (11 months apart)... her daughter born at 27 weeks is a very bad sleeper... she wakes up many times a night and they have lost so much sleep... they have tried everything to have her sleep better and longer and nothing has woked... The leave her CIO, they rock her, they have sleep therapy, drugs etc but have never brought her into their bed... I wonder sometimes how much sleep would have actually been saved if they would have done this... Why is it a bad habit for so many people? Why do people expect a newborn, or even a toddler to be in their own room in the dark and alone while they are snuggled next to the one they love... Why do they expect their children to be so independent....
Don't get me wrong... I know that co-sleeping is not for everyone... but it is not a bad habit! It is a great tool... there are some nights that Colin wakes up quite frequently especially during a growth spurt and I don't lose more sleep because of it... I just give him the breast without even really waking up and both of us are back asleep within seconds... Call me lazy or call me brilliant but I am just not able to accept that I have to get up during the night to tend to the needs of my children... I would rather do it from the comfort of my own bed....

So what's the missing link?!!?

We have been working on Potty Training with Xavier for a little while now... Bare bottom he can go without any accidents for quite a long time but the minute he has underwear on it's like he forgets completely and has tons of accidents...
Then pull-ups and diapers are of course in he same category...
So what do I do... How do I get him to do the same thing in underwear that he does bare bottomed? If he had his way he would go bare bottomed everywhere... (What is it with kids and running around naked even if their lips are blue because they are freezing?)
So what's the missing link... how do I start leaving the house without having to put a diaper on him? When does Potty Training actually Click?



longing to go outside on this rainy day...
(bare bottomed of course)

Rain, Rain go away....

OK... so we where completely spoiled the last few days... It has been above 30 since last week and humid and hot and swimming was the most enjoyable form of activity... Yesterday however it started to rain....
Now, It's Cold and depressing outside and I have to keep the kids entertained indoors today...
Yesterday when Xavier was at Daycare I played with Colin and while he was napping I made Chocolate Chip Cookies and Cinnamon Buns... I love baking but I wish I had more counterspace sometimes... It would be so much more enjoyable...

Feeling Guilty...

I really do love being a SAHM but some days can be really hard...
It is raining and Cold today and the minute that Xavier got up he asked to go in the Pool and was having meltdowns each time I told him that we can't go because it is raining and cold...
I just saw what the day was going to be like...
Then the phone rang and it was the Daycare saying that they have a place open for today and asked if I wanted it... I jumped on the opportunity and brought him....
See, when I was in Montreal, we saw other kids all the time and did things with other mom's and kids... we also went to an organization that had the moms talking in one room and the kids in the next in a small daycare... it was only for 2 hours and it was only in the next room and Xavier came to love playing with his friends...
When we moved we lost that and Xavier was really looking for Friends to play with, and I couldn't find other SAHM's and didn't know anyone around and I was very pregnant and tired so I contacted a local daycare and we were put on call until they have a place for him... Now when a kid doesn't show up they give us the opportunity to bring him (this happens about 3-4 times a month or less)...
Xavier loves it though but I feel guilty of sending him there... I am a SAHM... Is it weird that I am sending my kid off to daycare... It Sept he will have a permanent position... I chose Tuesdays and Thursdays so that the week will have a good flow... I guess my reasoning is that we don't get to see many kids very often and he needs to learn how to share and how to play nicely (he has trouble with this sometimes), he is just about 3 and not yet at an age that he can go and make friends by himself and his little brother is still too small to be a good playmate.... It also gives me some one on one time with Colin and some time to do things around the house...
I am planning on homeschooling later on but I am also planning sending him to a few activities... So I guess I can see Daycare as that for now... it is an activity that he enjoys and that he thrives in and that he learns from...
I just can't help feeling guilty though...

Water Babies, Sunburns, and Mom’s new boyfriend...

On Friday my mom came over and slept here with her new boyfriend… It is a bit weird but I am happy for her and he is a really nice guy. It just feels weird though that my Mom has a boyfriend… Roger (my Step-father whom I loved like a father) died in December and though it has been 6 months it just seems to be very soon...
Like I said though he seems like a great guy.. he is younger then my mom by almost 8 years and is the baby of a family of 13 kids… he is very relaxed, loved kids and is very helpful… I have nothing bad to say… just that it still feels weird…
Anyways… I got the pool prepared over the week last week and Alain (the boyfriend) helped us install the stairs we bought… it was a gorgeous weekend and we all got sunburns… However, with the stairs installed and the pool ready we’ve been living in it every day…
Last year when we bought the house Xavier was just turning two and was a bit afraid of the water and it was really hard to go and have fun... We put him in Swimming lessons over the winter and now we have a little fish on our hands! It's great! He can swim all by him self (with the aide of a flotation device on his back) and is full of smiles the whole time he is in the pool...
It is Colin's first summer however and he is just in love with the water... he takes after me and is hot all the time and he just relaxes the minute I bring him in the water... he almost fell asleep in his little boat yesterday...
He are some pics of our water babies...

NIP (Nursing in Public)

OMG!! How can people be so ignorant! There has been so much talk about nursing in Public since Barbara Walters and Star Jones made really awful comments on "The View" (and then of course BW lied about them after a Protest was done!)
Anyways... What can be more natural then feeding a baby... As time goes on I am just getting sick and tired of hearing about the Guilt that is laid on the backs of mom's that Formula feed because they are tired of hearing about the importance of Breastfeeding... Get Over it... It is proven that Breast is Best! There is no way around it and there are serious risks to not breastfeeding and risks that are associated with Formula Feeding.(Hello!! It is not even TESTED!!!) Of course we never hear about them because we don't want to make those moms feel Guilty!! OMG Wake up and get over your selves! If you are so confidant in your child being healthy and happy on formula and you really think that Formula carried no risks and that it is just as good as breast milk then you wouldn't feel guilty!! It is because you know that it is best but you don't care and just don't want to breastfeed for reasons that are completely selfish that you feel guilty... and I am not talking about the 1% of Moms that physically can't breastfeed, or the ones that tried and didn't have the right support etc... (They didn't make the choice not to breastfeed, the choice was made for them and that is why formula exits)
No, I am talking about the ones that made the conscious choice not to breastfeed (or weaned very early) for stupid, immature and selfish reasons. The ones that care about taboo's and that see breasts as sexual items or just don't want to take the time or the "effort"... I just wish people could get over their hang-ups of the female Breast… What do they think they are made for? If they where made solely for their husbands pleasure it wouldn’t be milk in them but Beer!
Seriously... If someone wants me to use a blanket to cover my child’s head while they are nursing I want them to do the same thing to their child... Formula feeders always use the worst term for NIP and I am sick of it... If I hear "She just whipped out her boob and stuck in her babies face" one more time I am going to yell "at least I am not shoving a artificial nipple full of toxic sludge into my baby, and at least I care enough for my baby to breastfeed him"
OK... Of course not all Formula feeders are like this but as time goes on there are more and more (or I am just hearing it more and more) I am tired of hearing about the right to Formula feed… That’s your right yes… but don’t tell me that the artificial way of feeding a child is better and should be seen and that breastfeeding shouldn’t…
I will Breastfeed my Child in Public when he is hungry and when he needs it! I will hide the fact that I am breastfeeding just because it may make someone feel uncomfortable. If I am expected to do that I expect that women will no longer were Tops that show any amount of breast and that Bottle Feeding Moms will also have the same expectations put on them… Hey I feel uncomfortable too when I see a baby being given a bottle (but guess what! I don’t say anything and I just look away!!!)

Potty Training and EC...

I have had two very different little boys... Xavier was a baby that didn't care at all if he sat in a dirty diaper all day (not like that ever happened!) As he grew he cared even less! Cloth or disposable, nothing mattered...
Colin however hated having a dirty diaper since the day he was born, he cried if he wet his diaper and cried harder if he soiled it. Then he would cry afterwards because we had to change it and he was still mad... I had heard about EC (Elimination Communication) when Xavier was young but I thought it was a little too weird for me... However, At about 4 months I was sick of changing about 15 diapers a day just for Colin alone, tired of blowouts and tired of the crying that came with it all. Colin was just so unhappy. We thought it was Colic, or gas or something but nothing helped.. so on day he got the face, the one that you just know he was going to have a blowout and I brought him to the bathroom, took his diaper off and put him over the sink and he went! From that day on we have been pottying him. He still wears a diaper but goes on the potty more often then not. The most amazing thing though was that day he became another baby completely. He became the smiley, happy baby that I knew was underneath the discomfort...
EC is amazing for us. It just makes sense like so many of the other things in Attachment Parenting and Natural Parenting. Babies have the knowledge of control and know when they need to go but are taught to use their diapers as a potty and therefore learn to suppress the feelings that come naturally from birth. Then, later on we expect them to unlearn what we taught them and to learn to listen to their bodies again. It is so confusing.
I predict that Colin will be potty trained early. He uses the potty every day and many days he doesn't at all use the diaper that is on him.
Back to Xavier now... He is just getting interested in Potty Training.. and finally it is starting to work... Not long ago he would refuse to wear underwear and on Monday I not only got him to wear them he has been mainy in underwear since. We still have accidents and he still refuses to use the potty when he has to poo but it is a great step in the right direction.. Finally!!!
As for the next time, next child... We are starting EC at birth!

Colin - 8 months

Summer is Here!!

Wow... June came with a bang... 25 yesterday and 27 today and it is just 1pm! It has felt great being outside more. The day just seems to be so much fulfilling. Yesterday I planted my Garden, started opening the Pool, played with the kids outside, got some errands done and I just had tons of energy! I love that feeling!
Today I got the kids pool out and while the kids are napping the water is warming in the sun....
Ahh Summer!! I Love it!